


crash & burn

by orphan_account



Series: Femme Reylo [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Child Abuse, DRAMAtical Lesbians, Emo Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Genderbending, Hipsters, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Theatre, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-04 17:06:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14024772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kira Ren and Rey are seniors in high school when they meet, and come from vastly different lifes, but Kira is enamoured by the girl the second she sees her, and when she sets her sights on a girl, she doesn't give up easily.





	1. I'm Not Gay - J. Pee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prettylittledarkstar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylittledarkstar/gifts), [kylocatqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylocatqueen/gifts).



Kira Ren was the town lesbian, and she was okay with that. No one gave her shit for being out either, probably because everyone in town was either terrified of her, wanted to date her, or was her mother. “Kira,” Leia was the theatre teacher at her high school. “Can you do me a favor and not get in trouble for making out with someone in the hallway?” First day of senior year and this was the conversation that they were having. 

“I’ll try,” Was all the girl said. She was muttering into her cereal. Her Uncle Luke was across the table, also eating cereal, he snorted when she said that. 

“Doubt that will last long.” 

“Shut up.” She groaned. Luke only laughed,  _ god he was so annoying.  _ “I’ll try.” She said again to her mother, “I will.” 

“Do or do not, there is no try.” 

“That makes no sense.” 

“Just eat your cereal kid,” Leia gave Luke a look and patted her daughter on the shoulder. “Don’t tease, she just woke up.” Kira was done in a matter of two minutes, and went back up to her room. She had hoped that today would be different. She had hoped that she wouldn’t have to go through the same routine, but it seemed she would. 

***

Rey reckoned that she was the only one who found school to be a safe haven. She knew that she was the only one of the loners in school that actually wanted to be there. For the most part, she went unnoticed. She liked it that way. Rey went through the motions of her day, mostly ignoring teachers when they spoke, and doodling in her journal. 

The only class she really participated in was her theatre tech class, which Miss Organa taught. She was actually good at designing set there, and people valued her opinions, unlike anywhere else. She felt safe. They were putting on a rendition of Romeo and Juliet this year, and although the play made her gag, Rey was again going to sign up for Set Manager. She went uncontested all the time too, everyone knew that that was Rey’s place. 

She didn’t expect that anyone was going to try and talk to her that day, but someone did. Kira Ren had moved towards the sign up sheet on the bulletin board at lightning speed, Rey was pretty sure she nearly hit the board, but she didn’t say something. She would go away. “Hey,” Kira said. 

“Hi.” She wanted to walk away, but she was frozen to her place. 

“I’m Kira.”

“I know.”

“I haven’t seen you around here.” 

***

In Kira’s defense, the first time she saw the girl she had another oh shit I’m gay moment. That’s why she nearly face planted into the bulletin board when she went over to talk to her. She could tell that she was a wallflower, the girl wore a baggy t-shirt, deep green pants, and a hoodie that she could practically disappear in. Her hair was in three buns and she was signing up for the play whilst holding a sketchbook in her free hand. 

Kira had to admit that she was not a theatre geek in the slightest. She didn’t know anything about anything. “Are you auditioning for the play?” She asked. 

The girl laughed. “No, I do not have any acting skills whatsoever. Set Manager.”

Kira nodded, staring at the sheet. Her name was Rey. She didn’t put a last name down. Then she looked down, there was four spots open left for set. “Yeah, I was just gonna come in and-”

“Oh you’re not going to sign up for the play are you?”

“Why not?”

“Do you even know what play we’re doing?” 

Kira looked over Rey’s head a little (which wasn’t hard to do, considering she was much taller than the girl). “Romeo and Juliet.”

Rey stared at her for a minute and handed her the pen. Kira signed up right as the bell rang. Rey looked like she was going to make a dash for it. “Can I carry your sketch book?” She asked the girl. Rey immediately said no and disappeared with the flow of students. Kira turned. Her mother was watching her. 

“You need to get to class.” She told her daughter. Kira walked over to her mother. “I see you’ve met Rey,” 

“Yeah,”

“She’s quite something.” Leia said. 

“I don’t think she likes me.” 

“It’s not that.” Leia assured her. “She’s very shy with everyone. It took her two years to really open up in my class.”

“You’ve had her for two years, how come I’ve never seen her before?”

“You never paid attention.” Leia suppressed a smile. “Now get to class.”

***

School was a safehaven, but home was hell to Rey. She lived with her foster dad, Unkar Plutt. His rules were  _ strict  _ to say the least. She had to be there ten minutes after theatre practice ended and if theatre practice wasn’t happening she had to be there five minutes after school ended. 

She wasn’t allowed to have anyone drive her home. No boys. No girls. Home always smelled like cigarettes and weed and piss and she hated it. She hated Unkar. He had a copy of the Old Testament and especially liked to call his friends faggots when they lost at poker. 

She was usually fine if she stayed unseen, if she was unseen, she wouldn’t be bothered. Rey couldn’t keep her door locked and she couldn’t have books but she was allowed to have her phone and a radio and her sketchbook, so she made the best of it. She was usually fine. 

That was until Kira had turned her attention on Rey. Being seen with her was basically like confirming you were gay. It was a small town... If that got back to Plutt. She tried to shake that thought out of her head and closed the door behind her. She had an incense candle in her room to try and make it less awful, she took the lighter she always carried with her and lit it, laying down on her bed. Her phone buzzed. 

 

**Unsaved Number:**

 

_ Hey peanut the captain of the soccer team just asked me out _

 

She wasn’t allowed to have any contacts saved in her phone. 

 

**Rey:**

 

_ Poe Dameron??? _

 

**Unsaved Number:**

 

_ Yesss _

 

**Rey:**

 

_ Tap that _

 

**Finn:**

 

_ Thanks bean _

 

_ Btw I heard Kira turned her sights on you _

 

**Rey:**

 

_ We talked _

 

**Unsaved Number:**

 

_ Oooho _

 

**Rey:**

 

_ Not funny _

 

She rolled her eyes and threw her phone to the side. She was so tired. Her head hurt and she didn’t want to deal with anything else. So, she closed her eyes and pretended the next day wasn’t going to happen. 

 


	2. work of art

Rey had convinced herself that Kira wouldn’t pay her attention for much longer, and that was okay, Rey wasn’t the kind of girl Kira usually went for anyways, so a few days of her hitting on her before she eventually moved on was something Rey could survive. She was carrying a whole bunch of shit early in the morning when Kira first saw her.

She was about to try and open the door but her hands were full. Kira was in the building. She opened the door for her as Rey walked in. “What are you doing here early?” She yawned.

“Wanted to get to the art room before anyone else used it.” She said. Kira nodded. She was seemingly shier this morning than she was yesterday. Maybe it was because she was tired.

“Is it okay if I carry something for you?” Rey nodded, handing one of her textbooks and a sketchbook the Art teacher had provided her. Miss Kanata always kept the room open for Rey when she was in teacher’s lounge in the morning. She pushed the door open and set down her things at the computer. Kira put down the sketchbook and then turned on the light.

The art room was barely an afterthought in the school’s eyes. It was small, small enough to nearly be a broom closet. There were only two tables and three easels and one counter that fit easily into the room, but somehow it worked. Rey turned on the computer and started to get to work. Kira was still standing there, awkwardly. “There’s a Keurig over there, you can make coffee if you want.”

“You sure the art teacher would be okay with that?”

“She bought it for student use, it’ll be fine.” It would at least give her something to do that wasn’t distracting Rey. Rey put in her earbuds and fired up the generic art program that the school had purchased and started warming up on the pad. It was a few minutes before Kira came back with two cups of coffee, sitting down nervously next to Rey.

“Those are good.” Rey felt something tug at her chest. There was something about the way her voice was smooth and a little lower that threw Rey for a loop.

“It’s just warm ups,” She said. She took the plastic cup of coffee that Kira had gotten her. “Thank you.” The other girl leaned forward a little, her leather jacket making a little noise with the motion. She watched Rey warm up a little more before she asked it.

“I’m sorry, am I annoying you?” Rey swallowed, “because if I am I’ll just stop. I just get weird sometimes,”

“No,” She realized that that would just encourage Kira to keep going after her, but the girl was being nice. Rey wasn’t going to be rude to someone when they were going out of their way to be nice to her. “You’re not being annoying,” She took a sip of her coffee. “I just can’t function.”

***

Sometimes, Kira was so gay that it hurt. “I just can’t function.” Rey said. She looked so cute, her hair pulled up into that same three buns, cheeks blushing just a little. “Like ever,” _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did her brain do this?_

“Oh, I can’t function either. I get it.” _I can’t function around girls. Can’t function around you._

Rey was working with that drawing tablet in a way that threw Kira for a loop. She had a way with drawing, making everything seem as if it was coming to life, her shading and use of color was a lot better than any other high schooler Kira had ever seen. The moment that they had together lasted until the end of their coffee though, because the first bell rang, and Rey tensed.  She didn’t even save her drawing, just exited out of the program, logged out, and then grabbed her shit. “What’s your first period?”

“Math,” Rey told the girl. Shit. Kira was kind of hoping that she had first period off.

“Oh, well I don’t have anything. Could I walk with you?” Rey shook her head no, and left.

***

Rey had third period off, which she spent in the library with Finn. Finn had been her only friend for the longest time, and even though he was gay that wasn’t going to stop hanging out with him, no matter how much her foster dad insulted him or other gay people. “Peanut,” Rey and him were talking in hushed tones. “Something about you looks different.”

“Really?” Rey asked.

“Yeah, Kira still flirting with you.” Rey hit him on the arm.

“Don’t say that,” She hissed, “especially so fucking loud.”

“So she is.” He rubbed his arm. “No need to be so aggressive about it, she’s cute.” _She was._

“I’m sorry, I just get weird.”

“It’s okay, peanut.” Rey shook her head silently. She wished this was easier. She really did. “You have theatre next right?” Rey nodded. “When do you think you’ll start working on sets?”

“Leia lets me do whatever I want, so probably today.” Finn nodded.

“Cool, can’t wait to see what you have.” Rey and Finn wandered throughout the library for the rest of the period.

***

Rey wished that she would be able to just take a fifty year nap. Kira was sitting at her lunch table. She was about to go the exact opposite way when Finn said hi to the girl. She was going to die. “Hey,” She said. “Am I sitting in one of your seats? I can move.”

“No,” He said. “You’re good actually.” Rey sat down next to Finn and started eating, trying her best to avoid Kira, but that didn’t work for long. Kira was beautiful, her hair cascaded down her shoulder and she had a few little braids in it too.

“So, Rey.” The girl started, “I liked this morning.” Finn raised an eyebrow.

“What happened this morning?”

“I got to witness her art this morning, it was an experience.” Rey was blushing. There was no doubt about it. She looked Rey straight in the eye, and gave her this _look._ There was something about it that made Rey squirm. “You’re really talented.” She said. “Beyond words talented.” Rey suddenly became very aware of where Kira's eyes were staring. 

"Thank you," she squeaked. There was nothing else she could do except blush and eat her food and ignore everything else. She had to ignore everything else.


	3. Baby Fox - Saturday, Monday, Hayley Kiyoko

Kira was the kind of girl who couldn’t leave well enough alone. Common sense was telling her that maybe she should stop trying to hit on Rey, but there was something nagging at her whenever she looked at the girl. 

 

It wasn’t like anything she ever felt before, and she felt a lot of things about girls in general. It was the sort of feeling that could only be described as the instrumentals in Hayley Kiyoko’s gayest songs. 

 

For the next day, she sort of suffered in silence and left Rey alone. 

 

Then on Thursday she went to the art room in the morning to see Rey drawing. She pretended to be surprised to see her there. “Do you want coffee?” 

 

“Sure,” Rey said. She didn’t offer much conversation after that, one ear bud in and the other out. Kira set a cup down next to her. 

 

“So,” 

 

“So?”

 

“How’ve you been?”

 

“Okay.” Rey paused, putting her stylus down. “Why are you here?” That stung a little. 

 

“What?”

 

“I mean why do you keep purposefully trying to be around me?” Rey asked. “I’m not your… type.” 

 

Type. Kira felt like she was going to throw up a little in her mouth. “Can’t I just want to hang out with you?” She obviously wanted more, Rey knew it too, but she knew that Rey was the kind of girl who wouldn’t immediately jump into a relationship. 

 

Rey blinked, her expression contorting a little. “Sorry,” She said. “That was really weird, I’m just not used to people talking to me in general. Sorry.” Kira stared at her for a second, there was something else going on. 

 

“It’s okay,” Kira laughed a little, mostly out of nervousness. Rey took a sip of her coffee and Kira watched her more. “Are you okay?” 

 

“Yeah,” she basically blew her off. “I'm fine. Just thinking about rehearsals starting later today.”

 

_ Oh yeah.  _

 

Kira completely forgot about that. 

 

“What are rehearsals like in the first place?” She asked. 

 

“That's right, you’ve never been to rehearsals. Well, we’re doing a read through, but Miss Organa lets me work on the set because I always read through the script ahead of time.”

 

Kira wondered if she could get out of the read through and just hang with Rey. The day went by fairly fast after that. Rey had that same habit of making herself scarce when she didn’t absolutely need to be seen around Kira. 

 

Kira kept noticing little things about the way she acted, something was wrong. She wasn't sure that it was necessarily about her. 

 

During lunch, she and her friend Finn ate on the same side of the table, and every time they sort of got in each other’s space Rey shrunk back a little. She didn’t just do that, she didn’t like when people raised their voice at her either. 

 

Rey stole away to the art room and Kira followed her. Her mother knew what she was doing, she wasn’t transparent at all in following her. When Rey sat down, Kira asked her what kind of music she listened to. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because I want to know,” Kira answered. “Can’t that be a simple enough answer.” Rey eyed her for a second before answering. 

 

“I like some sort of indie stuff, a little bit of pop.” 

 

“Any particular artist?” 

 

“I like Halsey, Paramore’s newer stuff.” 

 

“Ever heard of Hayley Kiyoko?” The first gay move. Rey shook her head. 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Is she gay?” 

 

Blunt. 

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“That’s probably why then, my guardian doesn’t let me listen to anything where the person isn’t straight.” 

 

“Well Halsey isn’t straight.” 

 

“Yeah, well she has like one song about a girl and I don’t listen to that one. So,” 

 

“Would you like to listen to music with me?” Rey wrinkled her nose. “I won’t pick anything overtly gay.” She said. 

 

Rey went silent for a second, “You make me sound like a homophobe,” She said. 

 

“I wasn’t meaning it like that.” 

 

“I’m not like that.” She said. “It’s just…” 

 

“No, I get that. You don’t have to explain.” Kira realized she sounded angrier than she meant to. Rey flinched a little and stopped talking. Kira silently cursed herself. She fucked up. “Sorry.” 

 

“I need you to look at different sets that were made for the play in previous years. Pick the ones you like the most and then get back to me.” Kira nodded, sensing that the conversation had ended. 

***

Rey was in a rush to get home again, she realized that she’d stayed too long. She needed to be back in around three minutes and there was no way she was going to make it on time. “Hey,” She told Kira, “I hate to do this,” She said, “but I need a ride home. Can you get me to the end of my street?” 

 

Kira nodded. “You okay riding on a motorcycle?” 

 

“I’ve never done it.” 

“Well just put the helmet on and hold on to me, okay?” 

 

“Okay.”


End file.
